Wednesday, May 24, 2006

 

I hate PACS. thats all.


Venting my frustration at pieces of paper isn't working, they don't respond and they certainly don't offer any consolation. There is also something slightly crazy about a 24 year old sitting in her room alone screaming and smacking at bits of paper (although they deserve it!! The analysis is completely messing with my head). My conclusion is that I need someone to vent at. Yes, i have come to see the truth, the true reason for needing that someone special in your life is so that they can pull your hands away when you are ripping out your hair, slip a sedative in your tea and call for the men in white coats. Unfortunately I have not yet found the man who would joyfully play this role in my life and so i must continue to merrily shred up my work into little pieces with a manic grin on my face with no one to force the tatters from my fevered grip. i don't even have Esther across the hall to point out when i am talking to myself.

I'm not crazy really, just a little stressed, thats all, not crazy, no, no, no...well maybe just a little eccentric. yes thats it, i'm eccentric ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.........................................

posted by Brianne 6:55 pm

Monday, May 22, 2006

 

The exams are over for the year and i survived. It was the worst exam i have ever done, i may have passed but i certainly didn't shine. I also found out that the placement i was hoping for has fallen through, they didn't want me (at least that is what it feels like). I wonder if these NHS trusts realise what it feels like when you are struggling to qualify for a job they say they are in desperate need for and you have to fight tooth and nail to get the necessary experience. I am worried that one of my course mates is going to drop out. I am so tired. i am possibly close to tears but you don't have to see that so please don't worry. I am now hoping that Milton Keynes will come through and supply me with the placement i need.

This weekend I shall be back in London and pretending for a couple of days that I have no responsibilities. The drink is starting to hit my head now so i had better go back and join the others now but i think i will go outside first and dance in the rain; it's been a long time.

posted by Brianne 5:41 pm